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“Thank You!”

“I want to thank you Robby for all the help you have done for Don and I. When we first came to see you we felt the situation was hopeless. By the end of the first session I saw the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in 7 years. From that moment on I felt hope and possibility for a future again with Don whereas before I was halfway out the door. Learning about our differences and how to work them with really helped. Thank you again!”
- Lois M

“It was so Amazing…!”

“Hi Robby,
“Thank you for your generosity in giving me your personal email address, I really appreciate it! Yesterday it was so amazing, after reading CounsellorInABox It’s like I woke out of a Sleeping Beauty coma. All of a sudden, I see. I see truth. Like a veil was ripped from my eyes. When I got home I saw a bunch of clutter I hadn’t seen before and threw it out. Probably depicting the clutter that is beginning to get thrown out of my mind. I am so excited about this course, and where it is going to take me!”
Best regards,
- Annika

“Fantastic System…”

“Fantastic system and method…
I like the idea and concept!”
- Tre

“I want to say thank you
to you two…”

“Rob and Melody,
“Both of you have brought me to tears of understanding, I am almost there…Melody, you are so excellent, it’s so great to have you both as my coach. I want to share these wonderous learnings with some people who mean a lot to me. May I have your permission to do so?? Really I want to say thank you to you two, & Cucan…want to say thank you again & will definitely tell you what I create for myself.
Love you both, thanks,”
Wayne D.

“Finally, some no nonsense,
straight shooting advice!”

“Finally, some no nonsense, straight shooting advice. I’ve read several of the advice articles and I must say that this one has been more to the point and realistic than I have seen in a long, long time. Thx for the wake up call, I needed that!”
- Debi

If You Found The Above Video and Testimonials Inspiring Then This Is Your Chance To Do Something About Your Current Relationship Situation!

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Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

I was watching one of my favorite movies called “The Story of Us” with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. I have never seen a movie that really delves into the realities of relationships as this movie does.

Watching the movie again I also realized it was a perfect example of a subject that has been on my mind lately – The Attention Versus Survival Need Fulfillment or Powerstruggle Issue that many couples are in a continuous conflict over.

In the movie Bruce Willis’s character Ben, a fun loving laid back writer met and fell in love with sweet and fun-loving Katie, played by Michelle Pfeiffer.

However, once they were married and had two children Ben continued being the fun-loving laid back writer and Dad but Katie was “forced” to become the organized and responsible one.

There were several factors that caused Katie to naturally fall into this role including that it was in her natural disposition to be responsible and organized and she had been exposed to a very strict, organized, serious Mother growing up so Katie picked up a lot of her Mother’s habits, perceptions and mindsets.

This caused a fundamental divide, deficiencies and a sense of abandonment for both Ben and Katie in their relationship with each other.

Now, 15 years into their marriage (where the majority of the movie’s timeline takes place) both of them felt abandoned and judged by each other.

For Ben, he felt that Katie thought that he was no longer a priority and she spent all her time focused on the kids and being overly organized and focused on details, following the rules and making lists.  Katie had to make plans and follow them and there was no room for being spontaneous or having fun.

Ben felt disconnected from her - it was no longer about them as a couple but about everyone else but him. He really, really just wanted her to pay attention to him and to put him 1st at least once in a while.

He also felt abandoned because she wasn’t the fun loving, happy girl that he first met and that her personally had totally changed once they married.

Katie felt abandoned because she ended up running the household, being responsible for the kids and taking care of all activities of daily living because Ben never showed any interest in doing any of these things and when she would ask for help he would start and not finish his tasks at hand or forget to do them entirely because it is just not where his mind is at and it was not in his value set.

They both were in judgment and resentment of each other as well.

Ben thought that 99% of everything Katie did wasn’t necessary - she just picked up a bunch of bad habits and beliefs from her uptight and organized Mother.

Ben also though the Katie was intentionally ignoring him and was in judgment of him because she wasn’t like him and felt like he was just a 3rd child, especially when he would complain about her not paying attention to him and that he has needs.

Katie thought Ben was lazy, narcissistic and was just a big child who had no idea what it was like to have responsibilities and run a household. She resented him for judging her for being organized and needing to run things according to plan.

Katie also resented him when he would say that she choose to run the household even when she would explain to him that she felt like she didn’t chose but rather that she had no choice because he would never step up the plate and their family wouldn’t survive if she didn’t keep on top of things.

So by now you may recognize a theme of Attention Versus Survival going on.

Based on each of this couple’s values and personalities both of their Requirements, Needs and Wants are just as valid and deserving as the other.

This Attention Versus Survival Scenario is a universal theme among couples and is one of the major factors in relationship issues, break-ups, divorces and especially affairs.

Many times we have couples come into the Centre where there is one member of the couple who is just busting their butts in order for their family and relationship to survive and to try and build a better live for themselves – ever fibre of their being has the greater good of the relationship as the centre focus.

Yet they are with a partner whose top value is being Relationship Centred and who just wants to connect and be paid attention to by his or her partner.

However, the good intentioned survival focused partner is so busy with 3 jobs, the kids, the household and taking care of his or her partner that he or she just doesn’t have the time or energy to focus on his or her partner.

Then because the couple’s values are different (and both think that the other partner wants the same thing in the long run) when the attention deprived partner starts complaining that he/she needs attention and that he/she feels disconnected and lonely it just falls on the deaf ears of the busy partner or the busy partner feels resentful and offended that the lonely partner would even dare complain after everything he or she is doing for him or her.

When it comes to affairs, due the courtship phase that naturally occurs, one of the easiest things in the world that the other man or woman can do is give unconditional love and undivided attention to the lonely partner.

The lonely, attention deprived partner eventually starts moving towards the other man or woman because his/her needs are getting met easily and effortlessly without judgment or without having to try and force it out like he or she would have to with his or her real partner.

So is there a solution to the Attention Versus Survival Dilemma? If the survival focused person just lets go of everything and paid attention to the attention centred partner – would everything in their life collapse?

If the attention centred person just gives in and allows his/her partner to focus on all other areas of life other that him or her, will he/she just have to accept that he/she is going to be lonely and disconnected for the rest of his or her life?

The real solution is two-fold.

A couple in this situation needs to learn how to unconditionally love each other as a full expression of themselves while at the same time understanding that relationships a mutual fulfillment of needs and we need to give our partners what he/she wants in the way he/she wants it or else the relationship will eventually fail from an overload of deficiencies and toxicities.

In Ben and Katie’s case (after 15 years of toxic fighting and judgment and deficiencies caused by feelings of abandonment and not getting their needs met) they had both totally shutdown and disconnected from each other and they felt like there was nothing left to save in their relationship and that they should just get a separation and eventual divorce.

Luckily for them, it was summer vacation and the children were away at camp so they decided to take time away from each others.

As the summer past, Ben and Katie came to realize that they still loved each other, the love was still there under the pile of what we call at the Centre the “Great Dividers of Love” (which are negative emotions that build up and cause couples hearts to be buried and frozen) as well as realizing that they did appreciate each others and through the appreciation and through the catalysis of their impending divorce they were finally able to step into each other’s shoes and see what it was like to be their partner and why they do, think and feel the way they do.

Armed with all their knowledge, Ben and Katie decided to stay together and now knowing what they knew about each other could build a new relationship built on unconditional love, understanding and support for one another’s Requirements, Needs and Wants.

So as I mentioned the solutions include:

• Unconditional love which eliminates all judgment and allows your partner to be a full expression of his or herself without any expectation of getting one’s needs met in return.
• Understanding of your partner’s unique Requirements, Needs and Wants in order to give your partner what he or she wants in the way she wants it.
• Appreciation of your partner in order to give you the fuel and inspiration to do what you need to do to repair your relationship and take your relationship to a new level of health, happiness, fulfillment and success.

The movie “The Story of Us” only takes us to the point where Ben and Katie decide to stay together and it is revealed that they understand where each other is coming from and that they appreciate and are inspired to do what it takes from there in order to make their relationship work.

Ben and Katie’s next step as well although not discussed in the movie would be to explore and find harmonious and functional ways for both of them to get all their Requirements, Needs and Wants fulfilled in the relationship.

If you are interested in finding out what the unique Requirements, Needs and Wants of your partner are and how to meet these areas in the way your partner wants them our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) is designed to systematically guide you through many areas of uniqueness including your partner’s personality needs, Communication Modes or how your partner gives and receives love (which is extremely important in order to know exactly how to give your partner what your partner wants in the way he or she wants it) as well as how to determine your partner’s values and visions for life and your relationship.

Our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) is also designed to help you to come up with creative negotiation solutions so both you and your partner can have your Requirements, Needs and Wants met in areas where the two of you may not be 100% compatible.

If you have any questions in regards the Attention Versus Survival Powerstruggle you can contact Robby, (Relationship Expert and the Developer of the Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program) or myself at relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Happy Valentine’s Day! Speaking of Valentine’s Day we are having a 50% Off Valentine’s Day Sale From Feb 14^th 9:00am EST to Feb 20 Midnight EST for Our Counsellor in a Box Relationship  Rescue and Repair Home Study Program - Click On The Link Below To Purchase and/or For More Information: http://www.counsellorinabox.com

We all have our definitions of what we consider an affair to be and we all have our cut-off point of where we think our partner has crossed the line and is having and/or has had an affair.

However, for many people an Emotional Affair were sexual intercourse has not occurred yet is within their definition of an affair and is the type of affair that I’d like to base and focus this article on.

If you have managed to catch your partner having an emotional affair as devastating as it feels – it may be a blessing in disguise because it is a wake-up call that can in fact repair and save your relationship versus destroy it.

An emotional affair is a wake-up call to something that is currently putting your partner into a state where you partner is trying to cope and get his/her needs met in whichever way that is possible to get his/her needs met.

I know you are thinking why on earth would you want to be talking about being concerned about your partner who tried to cheat on you and the only thing that stopped him/her in his/her tracks is that he or she got caught?

Well, the simple fact is that unless we have issues about getting what we want or have self-sabotaging programs, most people have a drive to get their needs met and if people are not aware of this drive they will just blindingly go towards what they want.

For example a person wants to feel loved, cared for, sexy, attractive, powerful, deserving, have high-self esteem etc - if he/she is not getting these needs met especially over time with his/her current partner, he/she may start venturing out to see if it is possible to get his/her needs met from others (often just out of innocent curiosity).

Then whether he/she follows through with getting his/her needs met from someone else becomes dependent upon several factors including:

• How “needs” driven the partner is
• How attached he/she is to his/her needs
• How high the needs are on the partner’s hierarchy of needs
• How emotionally shutdown the partner is towards his/her partner (due to the Great Dividers of Love)
• Whether an opportunity to bond with the other person has occurred through working together, prolonged time together or a traumatic event that they experienced together

The good news though is that if you stumbled upon your partner having an emotional affair, you have the chance to stop the affair before it gets too serious or other complications start to develop like a pregnancy or your partner and the other person becoming convinced that they are in love and want to start a life together.

If your partner is going through any of the following…

• Having a mid-life crisis (is this all there is?)
• Confused (Who do I love for real?)
• Disheartened (If my partner is the one, why am I not inspired?)
• Seeking Revenge (I’m so angry, I’ll show my partner by hurting him or her)
• Seeking to get his/her needs met because of a build-up of deficiencies or toxicities in his/her relationship or
• Is emotionally shutdown and doesn’t feel the love anymore because of the Great Dividers of Love such as judgment or loss of respect

… your partner will begin gathering information to make a decision as to what he/she wants to do – stay with you or leave for the new person.

So catching your partner while he/she is still in the stage of an emotional affair is the best way to stop your partner before some irreversible or almost irreversible final decisions are made.

The following are some decision areas that your partner must be stopped from pursuing in order for you to be able to rebuild and repair your relationship with your partner - otherwise these decisions are too powerful to reverse even if these decisions are based on illusions and you are still highest and best for your partner.

1) Prevention of Further Emotional Bonding:

Time, working together, having fun together, pursuing each other and/or sharing a traumatic event together causes chemical bonding by such feel good chemicals as Dopamine and Serotonin. Bonding occurs as well due to familiarity that occurs over time simply being around each others.

Love is often confused with this chemical bonding and the bond almost ( and often does) become a relationship addiction (especially if both your partner and the other person were drawn to each in the 1^st place because of low self-esteem and courting each other made each other feel better just like getting a hit of drugs or alcohol).

This bonding and/or relationship addiction can cloud your partner’s judgment easily making him or her choose this other person in order to keep the excitement caused from the addiction.

2) Stopping The Courtship/Contrast Effect:

When two people 1^st meet and start to date, they go through a phase called the Courtship Phase where both people put their best foot forward and court the other person until they have secured the relationship by some sort of symbolic representation - for some people it is going steady, others moving into together or for others it may be getting married for example.

During the Courtship Phase people will do, say and behave in ways that is not naturally who they are in order to do whatever it takes to impress the person they want to secure a relationship with.

If your partner is having an emotional affair, he/she has not ended his/her Courtship Phase with this other person so both your partner and the other person is going to be on their best behavior putting you in an unfair advantage because you are going to look like the person who is bringing the deficiency and toxicity into the your relationship while the other person can do no wrong, causing your partner to side with the other person as being better for him or her than you.

The blessing here is that catching your partner in the emotional affair stage you can get relationship advice and information like our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com ) to learn how to prevent deficiencies and toxicities in your relationship and learn how to give your partner what he/she wants in the way he/she wants it realistically versus the potential illusion that is going on between your partner and the other person and you can begin from a detached state of confidence to start implementing functional, healthy ways of rebuilding and repairing your relationship with your partner.

3) Preventing Attraction and Sex Comparisons From Occurring:

Out of the three decisions areas to stop and prevent your partner from continuing in, Attraction and Sex is the strongest factor that you need to stop in its tracks.

Basically, if your partner gets to the point where he/she is having sex with the other person and this other person is as attractive and is as good as or better in bed then you are, you have basically lost your partner, especially if the first two decision areas that we have already discussed are added on.

So as soon as you have discovered that the Emotional Affair is going on, set to work if you choose to stay in the relationship to win your partner back fair and square by being a functional, confident person who has the relationship knowledge and skills to give your partner what he or she wants that is missing currently in your relationship and put a stop to the deficiencies and toxicities in your relationship by finding out what they are and if you find out that you are not 100% compatible with your partner learn negotiation and creative solutions to fill in the compatibility gaps.

For everything you need to know about how to repair your relationship whether that is though finding out how to give your partner what he/she wants in the way he/she wants it, learning functional Relationship Mastery Skills and/or discovering how to get your partner back in order to rebuild your relationship, check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com as well as our Free Blog and Relationship Video Tutorial Site @ http://counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Warm Regards

Melody chase

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I was talking recently to a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in many years who was saying that she was afraid to admit that she was still having problems with her partner even after being together for 5 years.

My friend explained that her and her partner had even given each other some space by having her partner move into his own place yet this still hadn’t changed their tendency to argue or fill the deficiencies in their relationship.

My friend had never seen us as a client but I had the urge to explain the importance to everyone who may be in a similar situation as her about having a certain type of mindset when it comes to having relationship difficulties.

So the following are some points to keep in mind:

1) Be Gentle on Yourself:

Even from as far back as when we were still in the womb, we have been

conditioned to approach relationships in certain ways that may be dysfunctional or may not be highest and best for our unique selves.

Add on anything we may have picked up from a competitive adversarial world that emphasizes that we are the same plus add the fact that when we go into a relationship we are not just having a relationship with our partner but we are both bringing in all of our past experiences, beliefs and perceptions into the relationship. What does this all means?

That means that there is a lot more that goes into a relationship then meets the eye so you need to be gentle and easy on yourself and your partner and be patient.

Know that all will be well - whether you end up with your partner forever or if you end up parting ways and finding a new partner who may be more compatible as well as highest and best for you.

Everything is a learning opportunity and your relationship is no different.

2) Relationships Are An Opportunity To Learn About Yourself and What You Want and What You Don’t Want

Relationships are an opportunity to see what wounds need to be healed from your past which inevitability gets revealed when you get “Triggered” by your partner.

Relationship difficulties are also an opportunity to learn more about yourself and how to unconditionally love others and to learn how we are all unique so it is perfectly o.k. for us to be ourselves and for others to be their selves as well.

The contrasts of not getting what you want in a relationship also fine tunes you towards what you do want in a relationship that you may not have known about otherwise whether that is so you can negotiate or come up with some creative solutions with your current partner or so you know what to focus on when you are looking for a new partner in the future.

3) Questions Are The Answer:

Unique problems create unique situations which also create unique solutions.

So any problems you are having in your relationship is an opportunity to find functional, healthy solutions that are related to your situation as well as prepare you to be a Relationship Expert who has learned Relationship Mastery even if you end up in a new relationship.

Unique problems occur because:

1) You and your partner are unique

2) If you do not know what you want in a relationship, you may draw in partners who are incompatible

3) You may draw in people because of unresolved childhood wounds and patterns

4) It is also possible to draw in your highest and best partner but push him/her away because you have been conditioned with dysfunctional relationship skills or may not have been taught or introduced at all to the functional relationship skills because these skills have never been made available to you.

So problems in your relationship will draw in these unique situations to you and to your relationship in order for you to come to unique solutions if you choose to do so.

If you are open and willing to expand your relationship knowledge now and in the future you will have the intention, focus and energy to draw in the mindset, knowledge and the skills to handle any relationship situation you come across.

So as a review - as frustrating and agonizing that the issues and problems in your relationship makes you feel – you have an opportunity to:

• Learn about and unconditionally love yourself
• Learn to understand and unconditionally love your partner’s as well as other people’s uniqueness.
• Heal past wounds and patterns
• Find out what you want and don’t want in a relationship
• Learn healthy and functional relationship skills in your current and/or future relationship and
• Overall see where you are at on the inside since what is happening on the outside is what is going on within.

That is why I always agree 100% with my favorite quote about taking the chance and dancing the dance “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

For more information about Healing Childhood Wounds and Patterns as well as Mastering Relationship Mastery Skills - Check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com

As well - Want 2 Save Your Relationship or Save Your Marriage? We have a free e-course, free video tutorials & free tips for you @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

By Melody Chase

In many of my books and articles I talk about hidden powerstruggles in relationships and how if you are not aware of the hidden powerstruggles that they will eat away at your relationship and cause a build up of anger, frustration and resentment for both you and your partner.

So I created this Power Struggle Quiz to help bring to light some of the common powerstruggles of relationships that couples often have.

These power struggles often occur because both partners don’t realize that they are both unique individuals so they assume that what they like or want would be the same as their partner therefore they would never have thought to ask their partner whether they may have different likes, needs or views.

If you take the quiz and find out that you and your partner do have powerstruggles that were hidden, this does not mean that you are incompatible with each other, it just means that now that you are aware of what is really going on you can set to work at creating negotiations and creative solutions to assure that everyone gets their needs met without the conflict of the hidden powerstruggles.

At the bare minimum you will at least be aware of what is causing the powerstruggle so you can prepare yourself and choose healthier options other than reacting with anger or frustration or carrying out control dramas to try and get your needs met.

To take the quiz, have you and your partner take the quiz separately then compare notes and see how much (if any) hidden powerstruggles (answers that you and your partner do not match up on).

You can write your answers on a piece a paper or print the quiz out.

1) What does a relationship mean to you? (Circle as many as apply)

a) Relationships are about Survival: Two people banding together and pooling resources to get through life.
b) Relationships are about Learning and Expansion: People who believe in this definition believe that a relationship is an opportunity to expand themselves and their consciousness.
c) Safety and Security: People with this mindset believe that a relationship is a place of refuge, a place to feel safe and protected from the rest of the world.
d) Relationships are for Emotional Support: People who believe in this definition believe that a relationship is a place to feel supported and express one’s feelings and experiences.

2) How Do You Feel Cared For By Your Partner? (Circle all that apply)

a) When your partner is attentive towards you.
b) When your partner does things and activities with you.
c) When your partner does things for you when asked.
d) When your partner does things for you on his/her own initiative without you asking.
e) When your partner talks with you.
f) When your partner understands you.
g) When your partner reads your mind.
h) When you partner is physically affectionate towards you.
i) When your partner protects you/has your back.
j) When your partner compliments you.
k) When you partner speaks kindly towards you.
l) When your partner buys things for you.
m) When your partner makes you things i.e. builds you something or cooks or bakes.
n) When your partner emotionally supports you.
o) When your partner validates you in any area i.e. emotions, thinking, beliefs, perceptions etc.
p) When your partner respects your space and independence.
q) When your partner respects your values i.e. family centred, work centred, friend centred etc (this includes being relationship-centred too).
r) When your partner loves you unconditionally – loves you for being you.

3) Is there a Captain of the Ship? Who Makes The Final Decisions in Your Relationship?

a) You in charge
b) Your partner in charge
c) Both of you equally in charge
d) Neither of you are in charge

4) If you are equally in charge, does that mean … (you can skip this question if it doesn’t apply)

a) All final decisions are decided equality between the two you always.
b) Certain situations your partner can override you and make the final decision.
c) Certain situations you can override your partner and make the final decision.

5) What does a ‘relaxing evening’ at home the majority of the time mean to you regardless of what your partner is doing or wants to do? (You can pick more than one, but keep in mind what you would like to do MOST OFTEN)

a) Snuggle on the couch watching t.v. together with your partner.
b) Some alone time (without your partner or kids) whether that is watching t.v., taking a nap, going on the computer, tinkering in the garage, playing a video game, doing a hobby or chore, reading a book, cooking or baking alone etc.
c) Doing chores together with your partner i.e. cleaning up the garage together, vacuuming together, tending the garden together, cooking together, doing dishes together etc.
d) Playing a board game, reading or playing videogames or playing cards together with your partner.
e) Going for a walk or drive together, going out for dinner, to a movie, sports game etc together (just the two of you).
f) Going for a walk or drive, dinner, a movie, sports game etc with you kids, relatives, friends and your partner all together.
g) Going for a walk or drive, dinner, a movie, sports game etc with you kids, relatives, friends without your partner.
h) Sitting and chatting together with your partner.
i) Chatting with other people other than your partner i.e. with kids, parents, siblings or friends.
j) Sitting on the porch or in the yard watching the sunrise or set, watching the stars, nature or the weather with your partner only.
k) Sitting on the porch or in the yard watching the sunrise or set, watching the stars, nature or the weather by yourself without your partner.
l) Sitting on the porch or in the yard watching the sunrise or set, watching the stars, nature or the weather with others like kids, relatives and friends along with your partner.
m) Planning the future and setting goals together with your partner.
n) Planning the future and setting goals by yourself without your partner.

If your partner is not interested in doing the quiz when you are doing yours, be creative such as when your partner isn’t busy ask for his/her answers to the quiz verbally, send the quiz to him/her via email or leave the quiz with him/her to answer when he/she feels like it and you will compare and total the answers yourself.

As long as you have the answers you, yourself can take the next step of coming up with creative negotiations and solutions to yours and your partner’s powerstruggles and incompatibilities and at the very least you have a heads-up and awareness of the potential of powerstruggles so you have choice as to how you choose to act or react since in the big picture it takes two to tango.

For more information on Hidden Powerstruggles, Creative Negotiation and Creative Solutions for Relationship Success check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair  Home Study Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Do you have Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” playing in your head right now? Do you feel like you have fallen out of love with your partner and you don’t know why?

Falling out of love often happens with couples as both partners change, grow, find out what their true desires are or find out who each others truly are.

Sometimes falling out of love may also be caused by an “eclipse of the heart” by what we call at our Centre For Life Management/LMC Relationship Centre the “Great Dividers of Love.”

The Great Dividers of Love are a build-up of emotions that causes people to shutdown their love towards their partner - people’s hearts literally gets buried under a pile of negative, heavy emotions until it feels like their heart is barely beating anymore.

So it is important to make sure before you part ways with your partner that you are not suffering from the Great Dividers of Love and are just in need of relationship resuscitation instead of a permanent separation.

So the following are some questions designed to help you determine if your heart is buried or not:

Please answer “Yes” or “No” to each of the following questions:

1) Are you angry at your partner for any reason? _____

2) Are you resentful towards your partner? _____

3) Do you have a tendency to hold grudges? ______

4) Do you have trouble expressing your feelings or how you feel? _____

5) Has your partner disappointed you in anyway? ____

6) Are you in judgment of your partner right now? ____

7) Have you lost respect for you partner? ____

8)Have you lost trust in your partner? _____

9) Are you afraid of being emotionally hurt? ____

10) Have you lost all energy to argue with your partner? ___

11) Have you lost all energy to try to resolve and/or solve issues with your partner? ___

12) Do you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner? ___

Answer Key

Answered “Yes” 9-12 Times

All of our questions deal with emotions that cause the Great Divider’s of Love as well as mindsets that predisposition people to be affected by the Great Dividers of Love and questions that deal with emotional burn-out. If you have answered “’Yes” 9-12 times then there is a very good chance that the Dividers of Love has caused you to feel like you have fallen out of love. So to be sure, find ways to heal and release all the build-up of emotion within as well as learn how to forgive and unconditionally love your partner regardless of whether he or she is meeting your needs right now or not. This way you will be able to truly see if the love is still there for your partner.

Answered “Yes” 5-8 Times

There is a good chance that you are effected by the Great Dividers of Love, even just one area such as loss of respect or disappointment is enough to be able to shut a person down and disconnect from his or her partner. There still may be other things going on as well, such as you do not have as much in common as you once thought you did, you have outgrown each others or you may even have some dysfunctional patterns running caused by past emotional wounds that is causing you to emotionally shutdown. So you may need to explore as many areas as you can on top of healing, releasing emotions and forgiving your partner such as in our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) which covers emotional healing and releasing as well as compatibility, examining patterns and other dysfunctional behaviors.

Answered “Yes” 0-4 Times

Chances are if you have answered only 0-4 times, there may be a slight chance of a blockage caused by the Great Dividers of Love so be sure - still heal and release any emotions that you may have – but as you may already know (because you have already done a lot of your healing and soul searching) that there is more going on including that you may not be in love with your partner anymore because the two of you are not highest and best for each other. It may be that whatever it was that you both needed to learn and experience from each other has come to pass and it is alright to let your partner go with love and appreciation.

In Bonnie Tyler’s song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” there is a male singer in the background that says “Turn Around” may times throughout the song. There may be many interpretations as to what he means, but one potential meaning is he is asking his partner to take another look at him and their relationship before she completely shuts down and by examining the reasons for why you have fallen out of love is like turning around to take that look regardless of whatever your highest and best outcome will be.

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Our Counsellor in a Box Relationship  Rescue and Repair Home Study Program CAN Return You and Your Lover To The Way You Were - Save Your Relationship Now - Check Here For More Information!

I’m not sure who is more shocked when a marriage goes bad, the couple who started off so in love and looking forward towards their future together or the couple’s friends and relatives who looked up to them as been the perfect couple and role model for others in relationships.

However, marriages going bad can happen to anyone and it can sneak up on a loving and committed couple as quickly as it can for an incompatible and dysfunctional couple.

So that leads to three common questions for couples:

1. Why do marriages go bad?

2. When do marriages go bad?

3. Is there anything that can be done to either prevent or reverse the downfall of a relationship?

All three questions can be answered by examining the following Three Major Negative Benchmarks that can occur in a relationship:

1) Taking Each Other For Granted: A marriage can take a downwards turn when a couple starts taking each other for granted.

They get used to their routines and activities of daily life, they are busy, being pulled in many different directions as well as stressed and tired.

The couple doesn’t realize or have never been told about the importance of keeping each other’s relationship, love and respect for each other as the center focus and anchor of their lives together.

If they don’t put their relationship front and center they will get whisked off by external factors and lulled by the inertia of the familiar interactions between the two of them.

Eventually it is like being strangers living in the same home together who don’t even bother to think of the other person anymore.

So the easy solution is to start focusing on each other again. Start doing activities together alone that focus on one another, start going on full out dates, (flowers, gifts, dinner, leave the house and pick your spouse up even though you live together.)

Do things to show appreciation for your partner, in the ways that your partner would feel appreciated and don’t forget to be spontaneous – whether that is out of the blue for no reason telling your partner you love him/her or surprise him/her with a gift - just do something you normally don’t do to breathe some new life into the monotony of daily living.

2) Great Dividers of Love: In many of our books including our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program (www.counsellorinabox.com ) we talk about what we call the Great Dividers of Love.

The Great Dividers of Love are a build-up of emotions such as resentment, judgment, disappointment and loss of respect that cause couples to shutdown their love towards their partner.

When love is shutdown in a relationship, a couple loses their connection, their intimacy and what holds their relationship together.

The result is you will get an emotionally shutdown couple who really doesn’t care for each other anymore and have nothing to inspire them to keep their relationship alive.

So as a couple or individually each partner needs to release and heal all the emotions that have built up so the love, which is still alive deep down underneath can resurface and breathe again.

3) Toxicity and Deficiency Overload: If a couple is not completely compatible and if they do not have relationship training or what we call at our Centre For Life Management/LMC Relationship Centre “Relationship Mastery” as well as if each member of the couple has dysfunctional behaviors caused by unresolved past wounds and experiences – the relationship is going to be full of toxicities and deficiencies.

Simply put - toxicities are things in your relationship that you don’t want and deficiencies are things that you want and you are not getting in your relationship.

A relationship that has a lot of toxicities and deficiencies can only be resilient for so long, then they will become overloaded.

The couple will either then start to destruct the relationship, self-destruct or start to avoid each other because of all the negative conditioning built-up from all the toxicity and deficiency.

If a car hasn’t had an oil change for a long time, the build-up in the oil will cause the car to stop functioning properly and eventually break down.

If a car runs out of oil, the car will stop functioning.

When it comes to our car, we know or someone else will tell us that we have to deal with the “toxicities” (oil change) or deficiencies (need to put in more oil) or our car isn’t going to run.

Our relationships isn’t any different, eventually the relationship isn’t going to work anymore unless the toxicities and deficiencies are dealt with.

Unfortunately most people are not aware of that and no one tells them in such a straightforward manner as the attendant at the gas station who says “Hey would you like an oil change or would you like me to fill up your oil?

Systems have been developed to deal with oil in your car.

The goods news is that systems have also been developed for dealing with your toxicities and deficiencies in your relationship.

The first step is awareness.

The next step is finding these systems, such as our Counsellor in a Box  Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program (www.counsellorinabox.com) that includes learning how to heal past wounds and release emotions, learning basic relationship mastery skills like how to have functional communication, conflict resolution and negotiation, as well as how to fill in compatibility gaps so everyone can get their needs met in the relationship.

So when you deal with these major benchmarks in your relationship, the turning point can be reversed - what was once a marriage in a negative downwards spiral will now be a marriage on a positive upwards spiral towards a functional, healthy and happy relationship.

The following Are More Questions You May Have About Our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program:

1) How Will a Book Designed To Save My Marriage Help Me If My Partner Has Already Left and I Am trying to Get Him or Her Back?

Robby’s Answer (Relationship Expert and Developer of the Counsellor in a Box Program): Yes, the focus of the Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) is designed to support you in getting your love back. Our Program definitely plays a part in the process of retrieving one’s love because when one gets their love back they should evolve in Relationship Mastery and have that under their belt because it will increase dramatically their percentages and chances of not only getting their partners back but keeping them back.

Our product compliments Cucan’s Successful Retrieve a Lover Product (http://www.retrievealover.com ) because it not only helps people in getting their lover back but helps in definitely keeping their Relationship Happy & On Track because we have proved that over and over again in real life situations with the clients from our Centre.

People really need Relationship Mastery such as Communication Skills, Conflict Resolution Skills and Negotiation Techniques in that endeavor because in large part much of the reason why folks are in trouble in a relationship and are having distress or have been abandoned in the first place is because of their level of Relationship Mastery.

It’s really important that one learns everything they can to regain the love & romance they felt in the beginning of their relationship and this wonderful

Book teaches you all that you need to Create the Love & Relationship of Your Dreams.

2) Do You Believe That People Should Only Be With Partners Who Highly Compatible –Is this book Designed To Help Couples Who Have Compatibility Issues – Can it really help?

Robby’s Answer: In our Love By Design Book:

(http://www.lovebydesignbook.com) the emphasis was on determining whether you should stay or go in the relationship. Its important to be aware of the fact that you deserve and can have the highest and best relationship – you do not have to settle, it is an abundant world and it is truly highest and best for everyone involved to share your life with someone who loves you unconditionally and can naturally and authentically meet your needs, wants and requirements in life.

The reality is though, that over the last 20 years at our Centre For Life Management, the majority of couples that come to see us are not there to find the love of their life or to decide whether to stay or go, but the find out how to make the best of the committed relationship that they are already in and plan to stay in for life.

The Book is designed to Make Love Work regardless of any compatibility Issues.

Our system has been designed around finding ways on how to fill in compatibility gaps, learn Relationship Mastery Skills, deal with availability issues and most recently how to heal dysfunctional ways of relating to one another so that a couple can strengthen, repair and encourage growth in their relationship.

Our system does work, the majority of our Centre For Life Management clientele is based on referrals and our Centre is still alive and well today.

I used the system to make my relationship with Lucy (my last major relationship that I was in before Melody) work and although the relationship worked with Lovely Lucy very well I wanted greater compatibility and someone who shared my vision so I decided to push the envelope and attract/create my Ultimate Relationship with Someone who I was totally compatible hence the delivery from the Quantum Store in the form of Melody (Kitten).

However the reality is 99% of the population doesn’t want to drop who they love now and who they are attracted very much to, to go find their Ultimate Soulmate. So I knew I had to put everything I learned personally and through working with thousands of couples over the last 2 decades all in one place so that everyone who is struggling with Relationship Issues can take advantage of these powerful, practical insights that have worked for some many couples.

There are many people who just want to be with who they Love in spite of compatibility, functionality & availability issues and the system I developed at the Centre works wonders and brings back the Magic for these couples.

We strongly urge you to gain the knowledge in the “Manual for Relationships” so You can enjoy your hearts desire again.

3) Robby You Say That Melody is Your Highest and Best Partner, What Would You Know About How To Deal with Difficult Relationship Issues Personally, If You Have Never Saved or Had To Save Your Own Relationship?

Robby’s Answer: Actually the information in this book was generated because back in the day I had terrible relationships that I destroyed because I did not have Relationship Mastery Skills & Knowledge of the Relationship Success Principles we teach in this book. I created an excellent Relationship with Lucy who was not compatible with me in some areas and when I first got with Melody I encountered some speed bumps that we were able to workout because of the knowledge contained in this book.

Melody and I are highly compatible and share the same visions and values which does make us the highest and best for each other -however when we first got together in our relationship we were having some trouble in regards to us having opposite personality types, different metaprograms as well as we both had unresolved patterns and childhood wounds that had we left to chance and not dealt with would of caused us some definite difficulty.

The systems developed in Counsellor in a Box help us to easily identify and rectify these issues. This allowed us to deal with our relationship situation and allowed it not only to survive but thrive.

Many of our techniques such as our DADADADA System and our Pattern Buster Technique were created hands-on by Melody and I through working on ourselves 1st.

Our Counsellor in a Box Program took 3 years to create because we have put everything we have gained personally & professionally to save and enhance a relationship.

We have created and tested our techniques, (especially the addition of the importance of healing your past so you are functional in the present and the importance of taking responsibility for your reality) by going through the processes yourself.

We have taken our latest breakthroughs and new systems and have combined them with my original relationship success system. Then with the 20 years of experience I have had saving relationships at our Centre For Life Management along with the all Systems I have developed to Create the Love & Relationship of Your Dreams we have created the Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program that is presented here for you today.

4) How Can The Counsellor in a Box Program Help Me If I have Cheated On My Partner or If My Partner Has Cheated On Me?

Robby’s Answer: If there has been an affair and one or both of you want to continue with your relationship – you need to know how to heal, regain trust and find out why the affair occurred so that the issues can be resolved.

This way there is nothing hidden anymore in the relationship and both of you will be free to get your needs, wants and requirements met in a healthy, functional way that is fair, honest and authentic for both of you.

We provide healing, understanding of each others plus understanding of yourself combined with Relationship Mastery Techniques so that people can tell their truth, be supported, unconditionally loved and get their needs met so not only will there never be any need on anyone’s part to ever have an affair again but the relationship can be repaired over time and continue to grow in healthy, functional ways.

5) What Happens If My Partner Does Not Want To Participate In The Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program?

Robby’s Answer: Having your partner on board is ideal, but we will offer suggestions on how to fill out information and exercises without your partner both in the Counsellor in the Box Main Book, the Mini-books and the Counsellor in a Box Workbook.

As we will mention throughout the Program, the key to a happy and successful relationship lies within yourself, so whether your partner is on board or not you will still learn everything you need to know to have the relationship of your dreams.

=> Are you ready for a major transformation? Get on board TODAY!

Here are some of the questions that we are being asked! If your questions are not being answered here, just contact us at CustomerCare ( at ) CounsellorInABox ( dot ) com and we will get back to you!

Question: Is he the one for me? Is she the one for me? Should I commit right now?

ANS: We have a proven system in place for you to determine just whether he or she is the person for you, and whether he or she is worth your commitment for a long-lasting, blissful relationship.

It’s a lot more like plug and play, just use our checklists and system, and you are all set.

If you have been wondering whether the person you are with is your Mr/Mrs Right, the “Counsellor In A Box” program will have the blueprint for you!

And don’t forget, we are always here for you to help you go in the right direction! If you are stuck while using our system, just contact us via phone or email and we will help you!

Question: Can this program help me determine whether my boyfriend (girlfriend) is cheating on me, and give me the solutions to resolve this issue?

ANS: YES, definitely. This is what our program is all about. We have a proven system in place to help you determine and find out whether your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you, what signs to look for, and we will tell you what you can do to save the relationship if that is what you want. We will even help you find out whether your partner is the one for you.

Question: I have Asperger syndrome and have difficulties communicating, can this system show me how I can communicate in a proper way?

ANS: You CAN attract someone who is totally into you; if you “intend” that. When someone loves you and accepts you, communication will be natural for you and here. I have a complete system for you to use which is at http://www.TrueLoveOnDemand.com, “Counsellor In A Box” will help you in keeping that relationship together.

Questions: I like a guy, and I told him that I am starting to have feelings for him. This is what he said: “I am sorry but I am not ready for another relationship at the moment”. I don’t know what to do. Do I let go? Should I continue seeing him with the hope that he will change his mind?

ANS: We will have a system in place for you to help yourself determine whether this person is for you first; in short we will help you find out whether that person you are in love with is your soulmate, the one who is the highest and best for you.

If you have this system, you will have an invaluable tool! So many people started off trying to change the minds of other people or even trying to manipulate other people; without realizing that they themselves have the POWER to take control of their relationship destiny.

With this kind of system in your hands, YOU will be the one who will take charge of your own relationship, and you will see clearly whether this person is worth your time, your commitment and devotion!

Question: How do you move a relationship from a friendship (that for all intents and purpose is like a relationship) to an official committed relationship? What can you do to make it last so that it does not succumb to the pitfalls of so many relationships where people are lying and cheating.

You will learn to match level of commitment or actually move away; and this will stimulate your partner to move closer and/or go to the next level. If this does not make sense to you right now do not worry about it as we will provided you very detailed process and system to use in the “Counsellor In A Box” program.

To keep a relationship and make it the best that is what we teach in Counsellor in a Box at http://www.CounsellorInABox.com

Question: My question however deals with intimacy, do you cover that in the program?

Yes we do cover that in the program.

As well, in our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Home Study Program, Melody Chase has included her tips on “How To The Put The Sparks Back in the Bedroom” that was Featured in the Winnipeg Sun Newspaper. We have other resources on hand that you can use to start up and maintain an exciting and satisfying relationship in the bedroom.

If you are not sure, you can just contact us or our support team and we will be here for you. Just fill us with the details.

Question: About my relationship: Where the Hell did it all go wrong? And how can a 30-year soulmate love come to nothing and how do you deal with the intense heartbreak??? Who was wrong??? And where to go from here???

ANS: Relationships break down due to a number of reasons. You can give us more info and we will look into your case individually and help you go through our proven process and system of resolving the difficult issues in your relationship.

Question: How can I learn to recognize cheating (from my partner) and improve the relationship?

ANS: Melody has listed the signs of cheating on our Counsellor in a Box Blog here. Go through the videos first if you can.

Basically people cheat because they are not getting what they want from the relationship and/or they are getting stuff they don’t want in the relationship, so they are secretly punishing their partner.

So find out what you partner wants and what they don’t want. The “Counsellor In A Box” program will help you in that process!

Question: How long does it take for me to complete this “Counsellor In A Box” program? Will you be delivering a big box of books to my place?

No, you will not be receiving a big box of stuff to your door step. Everything, including the books and manauls that you need are downloadable by you. And you get INSTANT access to check out everything.

The reason being, we want to help you save costs on shipping and handling.

And the last thing we want is information overload for you.

You see, we are passionate about your success in mastering our system.

You do NOT need information overload; what you need is a system that works. Your success is our success. So we will only give you the exact tools you need to use to maximize your own success.

And you can go through the system at your own time; we will also give you a checklist so you know which books or workbook to go through first.

If you have any questions at all, just call us, or email us!

Question: Is there a guarantee for this program??

ANS: YES! This program comes with a full, no-question-asked 60 days guarantee.

And take note of this. We give you the FULL, COMPLETE system up front.

You have plenty of time to go through the full program, understand the full system, use the system, clarify any questions you have. Ask us any questions with regards to your lover, boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse.

We are here to help; and we are available via Phone or email. (ONLY customers get direct access to our private phone line of course)

Question: How is the support? Will you look into my individual case?

ANS: Support will be good! We want you to be pleased and happy with our service! We need your help to get the words out about our programs and courses!

This is all the more why you need to get into “Counsellor In A Box” program fast, because we are taking in new clients right now and we want to make sure we give the best of support that you can find. If you are not sure how to use the system we give you, you can just contact us via Phone or Email! Or if you need a customized solution for your individual, unique case, just contact us!

It’s FINALLY ready… it’s been more than 4 years that our readers have been asking us to reveal our secrets.

It’s been more than 3 years since we started creating this course.

And now we are going to break our silence and “spill the beans” to show you how to identify your soulmate, how to find out whether your boyfriend, girlfriend, or your spouse is cheating on you, how to re-build the trust, or even how to save your own relationship and marriage!

You might now know us, Robby Bilton, Melody Chase and Cucan Pemo.

But you have to know this, we are NOT some johnny-come-lately in the market.

We have been publishing our manuals and books online since 2002, and have hundreds and thousands of clients and customers from all the world over. You can find us at LoveByDesignBook.com, TrueLoveOnDemand.com, RetrieveALover.com.

Instead of us telling you how great we are, we thought we would let some of our subscribers and clients tell you themselves, in their own words. These are a few of the testimonials we have on file from our raving fans, and of course these are just some of the MOST RECENT ones!!!

and MORE of my testimonials can be found here!!!

That is just a sampling of the testimonials and reviews we have gotten. There are a lot more… but they all really say the same thing - we are really experienced and good at this. We know what the hell you are going through, and we are publishing it and using the system everyday!

But that doesn’t matter nearly as much as this question:

HOW CAN THIS IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR LOVER??

It took us more than 3 years to put together “Counsellor In A Box” program. It has been an exhausting process. The work on this Course began back in 2003, and completing it has become our main obsessions in the last 5 months…

Since last summer, we have worked virtually every day to cram tip, trick, and technique into this course. We were up until 1:00am, 2:00am, and sometimes 4:00am pretty much everyday making sure we covered EVERYTHING and EVERY ANSWERS about resolving your relationship (or marriage) difficulties and problems!

The bottom line is that we have poured our heart and soul into this course, and we didn’t leave anything out. This is a COMPLETE guide to finding the answer and solution to your relationship difficulty.

Say, if you suspect your partner is cheating on you, we have a proven system to help you find out - instantly.

Or, if you are not sure whether the one you are with is your soulmate and can commit to you, we have a proven blueprint to help you determine that.

What if your husband (or wife) is leaving you for no reasons? We can help you determine where the root problems lie, resolve the issues, and get them back to your side.

If you think your case is different from other people, just contact us and we will devise a customised solution plan just for YOU!

I am going to be completely blunt about this, but if you think that you have to fork out hundreds or thousands for this kind of service and system, then you cannot be more wrong than that!

Look out in this space for some of the questions that we are receiving from our readers and users; we are in the process of compiling a FAQ for those of you who are interested in our new program. Or if you have any questions about this program at all, just ask us using this form here!

Talk soon…

Robby, Melody and Cucan